...I am refined

AUGUST 17/14

Refine.  That’s a word that’s been invading my thoughts lately.  Only 24 hours after we received the cancer news, a trio of Christ-followers, a church friend and two church elders, came to pray with us (yes, there are saints who do this!).  During our time of sharing, our friend mentioned that she had received an e-devotional that she thought about forwarding to us, but didn’t because she wasn’t sure how it would be received.  I asked her what it was about.  Refining, she said.  Oh, please send it to me.  That word has been on my heart a lot lately.  The devotional gave me a beautiful image of God, the Refiner. It is a reflection on Malachi 3:3: "He will sit as a refiner and purifier of silver." (NIV)

Here’s the gist of it (but feel free to read it HERE, even if you aren’t a “girlfriend of God" J):

The silversmith sees something in a piece of silver – that already appears beautiful – that most cannot see.  To bring out its beauty, he must place the silver in the centre of the fire, where it is hottest, in order to fully burn off all the impurities.  He doesn’t walk away from his project: he must keep a close eye on it because if he leaves the silver in the flames even a moment too long, it will be destroyed.  How does he know it’s done?  When he can see his image reflected in the silver. 

What a stunning image! 

I’m still processing what this really means (and will continue to process as this trial continues), but this is what I understand so far:  God is not allowing this to happen because we’ve done something wrong; in fact, He sees beauty already.  But He allows this massive trial because He LOVES us.  He wants to perfect us – fine-tune us – to make us more like Him. 

Maybe I should feel privileged? 

When I wrote my lament (which could have better reflected my pain if I were more linguistically endowed), I wanted to begin with, WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?  I didn’t want my parents to cringe (they’re so much more controlled!), so I softened it.  Our pain is certainly a product of hell – God never intended for us to experience any of this.  But sin, the joy-sucker, entered our lives.  We brought it on ourselves (and we’d love to think we would have done something differently than our idiot ancestors Adam & Eve, but we would have sunk our teeth into that apple just as quickly).  And now we live in a world that is shattered.  Souls suffer.  Pain penetrates.  Graves gulp.  From the moment we breathe in air, it starts being sucked from us.  Yes, in a sense, there’s some hell going on here. 

But I wonder if I’m just seeing it all wrong.  Maybe I’m mistaking the heat of the kiln for the heat of hell.   Oh yes, I’m experiencing the products of hell: sickness, pain, death-threats (the harrowing cannnccccerrrr), but this is not hell.  Hell is an absence of God.  God isn’t MIA – missing-in-action.  He’s MIA – Maker-in-action.  He’s got his eyes locked on me in these flames.  And He’ll pull me out – not a second too late – when I’m glowing with His glory.

Oh my God, what a message!  Refiner, fine-tuner of my faith, DON’T LET ME OUT OF YOUR SIGHT.  As I feel the temperature rising, I want to wriggle out of this.  Help me surrender, so that I can experience more fully your love, and exit this trial glowing with Your glory.  Amen.    

Note: Keith & Kristyn Getty refer to refining in their lyrics for When Trials Come:

When trials come no longer fear

For in the pain our God draws near

To fire a faith worth more than gold

And there His faithfulness is told